Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, April 14th, 2014:

  • They say you've got to spend money to make money. Feel like there's some middle step I've been missing?
  • What idiot decided it’s “my foot’s asleep” instead of “coma toes”?
  • I’m stuck between a rock and someone I want to hit with it
  • My girlfriend said I put sports before our relationship.  That’s crap.  It’s our sixth season together.
  • The statement “Hey Calm Down” has a zero to NO success rate of getting someone to calm down.
  • Why is it that flies can get in your car so easily but can’t figure out how to escape with all the windows down?
  • Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
  • I’m pretty sure that at McDonald’s drive thru school they teach you that if someone asks for ketchup they you give them either 2 or 58 packets.  There’s no in between.
  • The higher pitched my “hey!” the greater the chance I don’t remember who you are