Great Moments in Facebook History: April 29, 2015

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, April 29, 2015.

Being an adult is basically a "choose your own adventure" book, but every choice sounds terrible.
Double Stuff Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
Please leave your message that I'll never listen to and delete 3 years from now after the tone.
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, “Yes, we’ve met before” so they feel awkward trying to remember me.
My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she's died so I could get out of having to go somewhere.
I have learned from watching crime dramas on tv when the good guys yell "Federal Agents" at the bad guys, the bad guy always runs. Wouldn't it be smarter to yell "Prize Patrol" if you really want to catch a bad guy?