Great Moments in Facebook History: April 9, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, April 9th, 2014:

• Damn girl are you a daft punk cd because I just want to skip to get lucky and not listen to the rest of what you have to offer.
• If you don't leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn't get your money's worth.
• When a cop pulls you over & says that he smells pot. Tell him he who smelt it, dealt it & then citizens arrest him.
• At Starbucks I order under the name Dad. Then leave.
• The only reason they make yellow starbursts are for when someone asks you for one.
• *pushes all the buttons in the elevator* So, tell me about yourself
• If sea turtles could fly no one would ever be sad

(Found on Status Stalker, Funny Status, and Failbook)