Great Moments in Facebook History: February 13, 2015

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media.  Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, Feb. 13, 2015:

• "Ever have pizza at a friend’s as a kid and experience quiet horror at her family’s choice of toppings? That feeling is my entire love life."
• "If you’re feeling lazy today, just know that over break, my mom asked me to vacuum my room, so I youtubed a vacuum sound and laid on my bed."
• "Do you ever start telling your parents a funny story but then you remember what happened was illegal?"
• "I was outside eating a cookie and I saw about 5 ants just roaming around on the top of the steps and I noticed there was only one ant that wasn’t holding anything like the other 4 were holding Dorito bits or something, and the ant seemed sad it wasn’t even going in the same pace as the other ants, so I put a cookie crumb next to him and he picked it up and started running as fast as the other ants and I think I made that little ant’s day."
• "I hate boys.  They’re so useless… and heartless… I hate them so much… wait, nvm.  He answered."
• "Me: God, please help me get my life together this year
  God:  New phone who dis"