Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, February 26th, 2014:

  • That definitely felt like the closest I've ever been to thinking I would die in a car.  My whole Netflix queue flashed before my eyes.
  • Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
  • That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! - no one ever
  • Hyperbole is my favorite literary device, I use it like 600 billion times a day!
  • I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. Or maybe it was "a tent of lovers." I wasn't really sure, but was too worried to ask.
  • For a $19 donation to the SPCA you can help a dog or cat that has been abused. They'd make a lot more money if they charged $75 to get a video of someone kicking the abuser's ass. I'd pay for that.
  • Automatic doors are making being a gentleman difficult. Doesn't seem as romantic rushing to jump in front of the sensor to open the door.
  • Apparently Home Depot's slogan of "You can do it; We can help" doesn't apply to masturbation.
  • Robin Thicke and Paula Patton are getting a divorce. I guess what rhymes with hug me is alimony

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Found on Status Stalker, Funny Status, and Failbook)