Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, February 7th, 2014:

  • Hate cleaning my floors... how fast would I go to hell if I got a blind roommate and replaced his cane with a Swiffer?
  • Not sure why Amtrak's slogan isn't "Travel With Your Weed, We Don't Give A Crap!"
  • Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah's witnesses of the internet.
  • Wishing the amazing Olympic athletes from around the world the best of luck inSochi(finding drinking water and toilets).
  • I think it would be fun to work in a restaurant on Valentine's Day. I'd hide fake diamond rings in all the girls' glasses and then just watch all the men's expressions.
  • You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes
  • Picture a scavenger hunt where the only items on the list are "your house keys" and "your house." Well, son, that's what drinking is like.