Great Moments in Facebook History: January 22, 2014
Here are the BEST of Great Moments in Facebook History from today, Wednesday, January 22nd, 2014:
- When someone says "Surprise me," I quickly drop my pants.
- "Sir, you lied on your taxes when you said you made $80085 last year. Wait. Were you spelling boobs? That's badass. You're excused from the law."
- The idea of sports is to get all the sports stuff into the hole so you can yell
- "Careful, there's poop on the dance floor." - how ballet was invented.
- Had to talk with my son about masturbation today...I explained that it is natural, and he should probably knock before he comes into my room from now on.
- If I had to describe myself in one word it would be "doesn't follow directions."
- Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. So is bowling.
- My friend and I were talking about names of Harry Potter characters to name future pets. If we ever get a pet rock we're naming it Bouldermort.
- I need a wine stopper. Who'my kidding? No, I don't.
- Wherever there's a girl with a hole in her heart there's a guy trying to stick his D in it