Great Moments in Facebook History: January 7, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, January 7th, 2014:

• Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
• The game “f*ck, marry, kill” could also be called “fork, spoon, knife”
• [shows up late for first day of new job] *blames it on rush hour* [shows up late for second day of new job] *blames it on rush hour 2*
• Hispanic magician: "I will disappear on the count of three. Ready? Uno, dos" *poof* And just like that he vanished without a tres
• My dog has humped more humans than I have
• When the clock was first invented, somebody probably called it a time machine
• “Your Days Are Numbered” would be a great name for a calendar store

(Found on Status Stalker, Funny Status)