Here are the BEST great moments in Facebook history for today, Wednesday, January 08, 2014:

  • Nobody can MAKE the Yuletide gay. It's not a choice. That's how it was born.
  • Hey self-appointed MILFs, easy does it. We'll let you know.
  • My penis wears a tin foil hat, to block the thoughts from my brain.
  • There are two types of people in this world and it is easily determined by what they do when an ice cube falls on the floor.
  • The bouncer at the club calls me kevin mcallister because I'm always going home alone
  • The only way I know if I've bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger
  • My phone just auto-corrected, 'calendar' to 'cake radar' and now I really wish I had that.
  • You know you've found the one when they don't mind if you fart in front of them. Which is why no one on this elevator can be my girlfriend.