Great Moments in Facebook History: June 13, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, June 13th, 2014:

I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
If they just built prisons out of the stuff they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
"Would you like a bag for that?" asks the rude cashier, pointing to your face.
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
I think actors should line their walls with autographed pictures of restaurant owners.
A horror movie called "did you hear what I just said? What did I say then?"
Hey girl, are you a hot dog cuz I really want you, but then I remember how many things went into you and it grosses me out
"Get a load of this guy" - worst slogan for a sperm bank

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