Great Moments in Facebook History: March 16, 2016

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, March 16th, 2106:

(Bryan Donaldson): When I pick my daughter up from day care she screams “Daddy!” and runs towards me for a hug and it’s like be cool bitch you look desperate.
(Karen Kilgariff): FAKE BREEDS I’VE TOLD PEOPLE MY DOG IS AT THE DOG PARK: Venetian Dabney, Brown Feta, Waxbeard, Oxnard Pike, Blue Hustler, High Presbysterian
(OhNoSheTwitnt): My phone changed the word “horcruxes” to “hot dudes” like it wishes I were cool and popular and not an adult tweeting about Harry Potter.
(Scotty): Next time you’re getting hot & heavy with a girl, if she asks if you have a condom, look over both shoulders then whisper, “A penis condom?”
(Nathan Buckley): Once at church I opened my eyes during prayer and saw Jesus riding around on a wolf making sure everyone’s eyes were closed.