Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, March 21st, 2014:

  • (Posted to a police department facebook page) My housemate ate all the cheese in our fridge, but he only paid for half... can u pls help?  (Police department response) What kind of cheese was it?  We don't normally prosecute for Swiss cheese due to the cases being full of holes.
  • OMGthis is Freaky! Have 8 beers & 3 shots, go to your phone the next day, press 'Recently Dialed' & the name of your crush will appear!
  • Sorry I kept stopping erratically. I was pumping EFF YOU in Morse Code with my brake lights.
  • Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance? – it’s almost reflective of some people’s relationships.
  • A-hole meets good girl → Screws her over → She turns into a bitch → She meets a good guy → Screws him over → He turns into an a-hole! – its the circle of life
  • Beer comes from hops. Hops are plants. Beer is salad.
  • We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.