Great Moments in Facebook History: March 21, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, March 21st, 2014:

(Posted to a police department facebook page) My housemate ate all the cheese in our fridge, but he only paid for half... can u pls help? (Police department response) What kind of cheese was it? We don't normally prosecute for Swiss cheese due to the cases being full of holes.
OMGthis is Freaky! Have 8 beers & 3 shots, go to your phone the next day, press 'Recently Dialed' & the name of your crush will appear!
Sorry I kept stopping erratically. I was pumping EFF YOU in Morse Code with my brake lights.
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance? – it’s almost reflective of some people’s relationships.
A-hole meets good girl → Screws her over → She turns into a bitch → She meets a good guy → Screws him over → He turns into an a-hole! – its the circle of life
Beer comes from hops. Hops are plants. Beer is salad.
We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.

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