Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, March 24, 2014:

  • 5 SECONDS AGO! What do we want? TIME TRAVEL JOKES! When do we want them?
  • Ay girl, are you our constitutional rights? Because I'm starting to lose you and there's nothing I can really do about it
  • doctors would be pretty cool superheroes except for the fact their weakness is apples
  • Having a big yardsale this weekend. Planning to promote it with my milkshake.
  • A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, "It's okay, I think we lost him."
  • I just spent hours connecting all of my watches together to make a belt. It was a complete waist of time.
  • Girl, if you like Star Wars puns, you're the Obi-Wan for me
  • Give a man a jacket, and he will stay warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it, and he won't go outside at all.