Great Moments in Facebook History: March 24, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, March 24, 2014:

• 5 SECONDS AGO! What do we want? TIME TRAVEL JOKES! When do we want them?
• Ay girl, are you our constitutional rights? Because I'm starting to lose you and there's nothing I can really do about it
• doctors would be pretty cool superheroes except for the fact their weakness is apples
• Having a big yardsale this weekend. Planning to promote it with my milkshake.
• A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, "It's okay, I think we lost him."
• I just spent hours connecting all of my watches together to make a belt. It was a complete waist of time.
• Girl, if you like Star Wars puns, you're the Obi-Wan for me
• Give a man a jacket, and he will stay warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it, and he won't go outside at all.

(Found on Status Stalker, Funny Status, and Failbook)