Great Moments in Facebook History: March 25, 2015

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, March 25th, 2015:

I like to use just a little bit of bagel when I have my cream cheese in the morning cause I heard bread makes you fat.
I may not be a perfect person but at least I have never yelled at an employee in a store.
A mother’s sacrifice is not having a child. It’s 9 months with no wine.
I was at this party and I lost my watch. Finally found it on the ground outside and some dude was standing on it. He was all up on this lady, harassing her. I went up and punched him right in the face. You don't harass a lady...not on my watch.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
If a white girl falls in the forest and no one is around to omg, does she even?
I bet it's called Almond Milk, because no one would buy Nut Juice.