Great Moments in Facebook History: March 26, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, March 26th, 2014:

• Dude, if we can't figure out why kids like the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, how the hell are we going to find flight 370?
• My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I'm thinking about getting her a treadmill.
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are getting divorced, citing "insufferable similarities."
• If "The Shining" came out today, it would be two hours of Jack Nicholson browsing the internet.
• I get my cereal from a tiger, insurance from a gecko, toilet paper from a bear, financial advice from a gorilla. It's people I don't trust.
• Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
• It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

(Found on Status Stalker, Funny Status, and Failbook)