Great Moments in Facebook History: May 11, 2015

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, May 11, 2015:

The police need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don't want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "LA Superior Court."
Apparently people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."
Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently security doesn't appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.
There's no "i" in "team" but there's an "i" in "Tim", and my friend Carlos pronounces it "team," so there you go.
So, say some animals were injuried in the making of a film. Is that listed in the credits or what? “Bob hurt one bird. He’s very sorry.”
Don't be sad, laundry. Nobody's doing me either.