Great Moments in Facebook History: May 18, 2015

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, May 18, 2015:

I put my pants on just like everyone else: in your mom’s bedroom in the morning.
Life should be more like hockey. If somebody pisses you off, you beat the crap out of them, then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.
Ben (local): I was just reading a news article about a woman with really strong feelings on male circumcision, and my "WTF? How is this your business?" thoughts quickly gave way to "Ooooh, so this is what women feel like LITERALLY ALL THE TIME."
Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to ‘unstable’
I’m just going to flip this omelette here, aaaannnndd I’m having scrambled eggs.
Accidentally saying “love you” to a customer at the end of a telephone conversation at work has made me just die inside.