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Great Moments in Facebook History: May 23, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, May 23rd, 2014:

  • So today is that day it all changes; I’m cutting back on drinking, quitting smoking, and leaving the past behind me. ┬áTime to grow up a bit. (THE NEXT DAY) I’m am so effing wasted.
  • The only time I care about the word LOVE is when it’s preceded by “JENNIFER”, & followed by “HEWITT’S BOOBS”.
  • Hey babe, is it 2006? because I need MySpace
  • The only time I’ve ever used math is when I’m trying to figure out how many times I can get away with hitting the snooze button.
  • Nice try Jehovah’s Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door.
  • The “friend zone” is still better than the “like a brother zone”.
  • Just when you start to feel like you’re #1, God throws a blue turtle shell.
  • I feel the best way to do battle with Godzilla type of monsters, is to build giant Lego pieces and leave them out for them to step on

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Found on Status Stalker, Funny Status, and Failbook)

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