Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, May 30th, 2014:

  • I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it.
  • Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
  • I'm "I had to change the channel to 3 to play video games" years old.
  • Dear coworker who just microwaved hobo feet for lunch, I hate you.
  • They're all cop cars when you're this high.
  • Remember when our ancestors used to use their mouths to communicate, good times.
  • I live in fear that my death will somehow be connected to the opening of a pressurized Pillsbury cinnamon roll container.
  • I learned all my dance moves from the paternity test episodes of Maury.
  • Forgot deodorant this morning so I'll just rock the T-Rex arms.