Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, May 5th, 2014:

  • You shouldn't be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.
  • If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
  • My wife said I can definitely have a man cave, if that's what I want to start calling the hall closet.
  • What idiot called it a contraction and not a birthquake?
  • I hate it when chicks wear pink camo. I'm like, "girl" where you hiding? Candyland?
  • It's kind of creepy that you noticed me staring at you.
  • Is anyone else's alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
  • My mother just send me this text: What’s your favorite Panic at the Disco album?  Santa needs to know…
  • Every club is a strip club, if you have the money. Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you have the balls.