Great Moments in Facebook History: May 6, 2015

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, May 6, 2015:

Whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell. Like, hey you, I love you so much, I’m gunna get the government involved so you can’t leave.
My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you."
Sex is like Game of Thrones. I'm confused, I don't know anyone's name, the nudity's better in theory, not enough dragons, never long enough.
Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
Optimist: Someone who knows that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s the cha-cha.
Who decided to call them conjugal visits instead of guilty pleasures?