Great Moments in Facebook History: November 3, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, November 3rd, 2014:

• I don't know, Jay-Z. If I was worth half a billion dollars, I'd have like 3 problems. Max.
• When someone chooses the stall next to me when plenty others are available I tap my foot 3 times and ask, "You got the stuff?".
• Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you’re probably really hot.
• Daylight Saving Time rocks. It even makes laziness sound impressive. You did nothing for 24 hours? Not today. You did nothing for 25 hours!
• Is it too early to put on my costume? (I guess I should mention that what I'm being for Halloween is drunk.)
• If you’re ever about to post song lyrics, ask yourself is it worth it? Let me work it. I put my thing down flip it ‘n reverse it.
• “I don’t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others’ lives sounds fun!” – How I got out of jury duty

 Found on Status Stalker, Funny Status)