Great Moments in Facebook History: October 14, 2015

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, October 14th, 2015:

remember kids, no matter how big a failure you think you are, you've never passed out at a whorehouse.
Playboy is dropping nudes because they're too easy to find on the internet? I had no idea. I only read the internet for the articles.
[finally gets the car seat installed correctly] Me: Where’s the baby? Wife: In college.
FYI, if you beep your horn .03 seconds after the light changes green, I will shut off my car, lay on the hood, and feed birds for an hour.
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then my car is Satan's chariot.
Saving Private Ryan, Interstellar, and The Martian; America has spent too much money retrieving Matt Damon. Not a penny more.