Great Moments in Facebook History: September 10, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, September 10th, 2014:

• I always keep a Mexican restaurant on speed dial in queso emergency.
• I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook ever added a “Dislike” button.
• Words of Wisdom: The police never think it’s as funny as you do.
• Sometimes I’ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I’ll be like, “oh no, that can’t be right.”
• I have never faked a sarcasm in my life.
• Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.
• Dudes get one chest or arm tattoo and suddenly forget to wear shirts.
• It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much crap to carry.

(Found on Status Stalker and Funny Status)