Great Moments in Facebook History: September 12, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, September 12th, 2014:

• I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn't tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
• Before you can truly love someone else, first you have to love yourself. Then wash your hands.
• It’s a shame my generation was raised on actors and not authors.
• If I could have anything in the world it would be to have the same finger prints as my enemy
• Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my girl’s hair. Its a nice way to let her know I love her and also that we’re out of napkins
• How many weight watchers points are pot brownies?
• Waiting for TMZ to leak a video of Roger Goodell watching the elevator video

(Found on Status Stalker and Funny Status)