Great Moments in Facebook History: September 16, 2016

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, September 16th, 2016:

Phelony is home and happy. Arien and neako adore her and held her. They been big helps with their sissy. Shes such a good baby
When I told you to be more spontaneous, I meant combustion.
I'm beginning to think my sex life is named Godot.
(Javier Acosta, @Shimz_Afc) My friend lied on his cv that he mastered the piano at age 15 and now he’s been asked if he can play for the board of directors on Friday. Man has been sitting in the car for the past half hour googling “the most painless way to break your fingers.
I just walked by an old man who kept saying, “One, three, five, seven, nine… one, three, five, seven, nine…” I thought, “How odd.”