Great Moments in Facebook History: September 19, 2016

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, September 19th, 2016:

English is confusing because "booty call" and "butt dial" mean very different things.
2016 is awesome!!! Just checked an app to see if a package was delivered to my door yet. I'm on the couch, the door is 5 feet away.
What I really seek is a career where I can combine my three main strengths as a worker: sulking, sighing and complaining about management.
Bartender on the phone. "Oh, ,hey.." Sees a priest, a rabbi, and a horse walk in " dude, let me call you back. This is going to be amazing"
Been watching my neighbor through the blinds, he's so creepy....