I Mean…Women

Women’s Behaviors & Emotions

By Fran Lytle

Brain Activity

Did you know that all brain research conducted before 1980 was conducted only on male brains? Social scientists, (mostly men at the time), began studying female brains to understand why women’s behaviors differ from men’s.  They needed to unearth answers to what they considered earth-shattering questions like why we get angry when we see our spouse fall asleep when he clearly knows that we’re upset!

Female & Male Brains are Different

All kidding aside . . . the first “Aha” moment occurred when brain scans indicated male and female brains are structured differently.  There’s a lot of interconnectivity in the female brain, which is why we’re so good at multi-tasking. Male brains, however, have less interconnectivity between the left and right hemispheres and frontal and rear lobes. This is why men are so good at focusing.

Women Have Increased Brain Activity

A recent brain study at the University of Pennsylvania confirms that men’s brains are wired more for perception and coordinated actions, while women’s brains are wired for better social skills, intuitive thinking, being more emotionally involved and being able to listen better than men.  It’s due to the fact that we use both sides of our brain simultaneously, while men use only one side of their brain at a time. Because of this interconnectedness, we have increased brain activity.

The left side of everyone’s brain is responsible for logical thinking and the right side is for intuitive thinking. So if a task involves both logic and intuition, women’s brains are hardwired to accomplish these tasks more efficiently than men.

Women’s Behaviors

• Empathy  -- Increased brain activity is why we feel the need to take care of others – commonly called our “nurturing instinct”

o A woman’s Highest Personal Value is establishing and nurturing relationships

• Intuition – Women sometimes have “that feeling” – they know something is true without knowing exactly why. It’s frequently referred to as “women’s intuition”

o Because our brain is constantly taking in data, processing and storing it – even when we’re not aware of this activity – we “just know” when something is true!

• Collaboration – Our brain interconnectivity also leads to collaborative behavior

o Our ancient female ancestors were responsible for raising children in the tribe until they were old enough to procreate. To achieve this, we needed to collaborate with the other women in the tribe.  We’ve all heard the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child” – it’s true, based upon our genetic memory

Women & Stress

Our increased brain activity is good. But, wait for it . . . increased brain activity also makes it difficult for us to turn off our thoughts. Accept the fact that a woman’s overactive brain is going to cause her to get stressed out every once in a while.  Even though this is going to happen, you have the power to lessen her stress.

Music & Her Emotions

Women’s brains actually respond differently to happy and sad music.  Even short pieces of happy or sad music can affect us.  One study showed that after hearing a short piece of music, women were more likely to interpret a neutral expression as happy or sad, to match the tone of the music they heard. This also happened with other facial expressions, but was most notable for those that were close to neutral.

Her Perceived & Felt Emotions

Something else that’s really interesting about how a woman’s emotions are affected by music is that there are two kinds of emotions she experiences related to music – perceived emotions and felt emotions.

This means that sometimes women can understand the emotions of a piece of music without actually feeling them – which explains why some women find listening to sad music enjoyable, rather than depressing.

Unlike in real life situations, women don’t feel any real threat or danger when listening to music, so we can perceive the related emotions without truly feeling them—almost like vicarious emotions.

Winning with Women

Keep her listening by being empathetic – share stories about people and situations that are easily relatable to her. It’s OK to make her laugh – but make her laugh about her similar situations, not at other people.

Acknowledge “women’s intuition.”  This means be transparent and real! If you’re not being truthful, she’ll pick up on it right away and tune you out.

Collaborate with her! Provide opportunities where you can work together to support a cause she cares about – women and children. This also taps into her nurturing nature.