Contact Us

Shuck You!

This afternoon I was invited to the Gumbo Cook Off in Downtown Kalamazoo to be a “celebrity” oyster shucker.  Now, I use the word “celebrity” loosely, because I don’t consider myself a celebrity.  When I’m around my wife, friends, and family it’s different.  When I’m around Jamie I tell her I’m the biggest thing to happen to this town, but in reality, I’m just a guy who’s grossly underpaid to make fart and wiener jokes on the radio.

Now, I’ve never shucked an oyster in my life, let alone shucked one as a “celebrity.”  It’s actually not as difficult as one might think.  I was provided with an apron, gloves, and a special shucking knife.  Basically, you use your shucking knife to separate the shells so you can shoot the oyster.  So, I take my handy dandy knife, and my gloves saturated in oyster juice and I get to work.  The first oyster took me a good 10 minutes to pry apart.  The second one not quite 10 minutes, but I was getting a little embarrassed because it was taking me so long to get the shells separated.  After my third oyster, I was a freaking pro!  I was shucking two or three oysters a minute!  What blows is that you hold the oyster in one hand, and pry it open with your other, and the hand holding the oyster gets covered in ice cold oyster juice when the top shell separates, and that juice absorbs into the gloves, which then bathes your hand in smelly, ice cold oyster juice.  Kind of like a second date, huh!?

After shucking, I enjoyed a few beers, ate some my freshly shucked oysters, met some people, and then waited for the gumbo cook off to begin.  I had one problem with this; the size.  Too many people crammed inside two small tents. The food venders were separated into two tents, and you had to force your way in line to get food.  There really wasn’t room to look around so you basically had to get the first four or five gumbo samples you can get your hands on and get out of there.  The samples I had were delicious, but again, I wish I didn’t have to just grab samples from the first few vendors I saw; I would have liked to looked around more and pick what I thought looked good.  Maybe next year they’ll do the event at a larger venue so people are more comfortable and less crowded.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go shuck something.


Best of WRKR

Recommended for You

Best of the Web

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

*Please note that your prizes and activities will not be shared between programs within our VIP network.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for Rocker Club quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!

Sign up to have exclusive Rocker Club contests, events, coupons, presales, and much more delivered to you for FREE.