Great Moments in Facebook History

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, June 18th, 2014: My car doesn’t have a passenger airbag but don’t worry, if we get in an accident all the McDonalds napkins in the glove box will cushion you. Hey dude who flipped me off in the Subway parking lot for honking at you, you left your dinner on top of your car ... Read More ...

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, June 16th, 2014: If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones Americans would be the healthiest people on the planet. Coworker: What did you do this weekend ... Read More ...

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, June 13th, 2014: I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness. I do my best proofreading after I hit send. If only closed minds came with closed mouths ... Read More ...

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, June 11th, 2014: I wasn't even going for broke. But I got it! The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life ... Read More ...

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, June 9th, 2014: WTF, marathoners? I don't even like to drive 26 miles. To avoid conversations at work, always walk with purpose and a toilet plunger You only have one childhood, it may as well last your entire life Enough with the lies, people who drink decaf coffee, tell us what your game plan is ... Read More ...

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, June 6th, 2014: Sorry I cancelled at the last minute, but it took me forever to think of an excuse I hadn't used yet. I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers ... Read More ...

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, June 4th, 2014: Rest in peace, Maya Angelou.  She was a great singer.  That song she did with Sisqo was dope. You know you're a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out" Any pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself ... Read More ...

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, June 2nd, 2014: So this sh*t is getting weird.  Everytime I open something to watch it and it's Season One Episode One it's called "Pilot."  I'm kinda freaking out ... Read More ...

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, May 30th, 2014: I need professional help. A chef and a butler should do it. Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door ... Read More ...

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, May 28th, 2014: All I want is to settle down with an extremely wealthy dog Nice try "blocked number", but I don't even answer the phone for people I know. If owls are so smart, why don’t they say "Whom" ... Read More ...