Great Moments in Facebook History

Great Moments in Facebook History: January 28, 2015
Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, January 28th, 2015:

I'm proud to announce that I'm still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don't know we're racing.
It's all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call
Great Moments in Facebook History: January 26, 2014
Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, January 26th, 2014:

Is it a firm rule that you have to be an addict to check into rehab? Because that one in Malibu looks pretty nice
If I had a dollar for every woman that found me unattractive, they’d eventually f…
Great Moments in Facebook History: January 23, 2015
Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, January 23rd, 2015:

Nothing good goes into a microwave at 2:00am
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
I've ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child
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Great Moments in Facebook History: January 21, 2015
Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, January 21st, 2015:

At the end of Goonies, Chunk says to Sloth, "you're gonna live with me now." Why isn't that a movie yet?
I swear to god if this girl doesn't get my coffee order right I'm…
Great Moments in Facebook History: January 19, 2015
Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, Jan. 19th, 2015:

Does anyone shoop anymore?
My dad's TV volume is always set at "(eff) the neighbors."
Sorry, when I said I have the stamina of an NBA player in bed I meant I take 10 timeouts in the final 2 mi…
Great Moments in Facebook History: January 16, 2014
Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, January 16th, 2014:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow
I'm off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue
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Great Moments in Facebook History: January 9, 2014
Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, January 9th, 2014:

If aliens ever attack, I hope they do it in rows of 8, going right and left directly above me. I'm very skilled at shooting aliens this way.
Saying an actors performance was unbelievable is actually an insul…
Great Moments in Facebook History: January 7, 2014
Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, January 7th, 2014:

Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I did last year.
The game “f*ck, marry, kill” could also be called “fork, spoon, knife”
*blames it on rush hour* …
Great Moments in Facebook History: January 5, 2014
Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, January 5th, 2014:

Kids today are so coddled- Elf on the Shelf, Toy Story. In my day, if dolls magically came to life, they murdered you and everyone you loved
In a game of tag Kanye just walks around reminding kids that he's …

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