Great Moments in Facebook History: March 9, 2015

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, March 9th, 2015:

Lower your sexual expectations, women. Most men can't click that tiny X without launching six new websites
Your password must contain at least one lie society told you and one dream you gave up for the financial means to survive
You don’t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent’s house
My diet could be described as “unchaperoned child at a birthday party”
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
I burn like 2000 calories every-time i put my bed sheets on by myself