Great Moments in Facebook History: May 27, 2016

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, May 27th, 2016:

I should be thwarting evil or something. I never get to thwart anything. I believe I could thwart.
Just added 'Wandering Around the Parking Lot Looking for My Car' as another Track Exercise on my Fitbit.
Went by the house where I grew up. I went up to the door, and asked to go in to look around, but they said No, and shut the door in my face... Mom and Dad can be so rude.
(Audrey Porne) Damn, boy, are you a bra? Because you make me uncomfortable, but society has brainwashed me into thinking I need you.
Our guide called the bear tracks I found bike tracks. Laugh it up pal, but if these bears are on bikes we're all going to die out here.