Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, October 24th, 2014:

  • In my defense your honor, he said prolly.
  • Never, ever ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you see an actual baby being born. Even then, act surprised.
  • Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets
  • My favorite winter activity is staying inside in my pajamas and being antisocial.
  • Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they’ve been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what’s really going on.
  • I’m confident, but not old-dude-in-the-gym-changing-room confident.