Great Moments in Facebook History: July 10, 2015

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, July 10, 2015:

I love people who make me forget that I’m shy.
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms.
Show me, on this cat calendar, how long it's been since you've had a date?
Dentist: do you remember the last time you flossed? Me: It should say on your sheet over there.
It just dawned on me why Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet, cause nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T Bass, The Darlins, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara. The only one married was Otis, and he stayed drunk!
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
Look up "procrastinator" on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.