Great Moments in Facebook History: December 1, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, December 1st, 2014:

• Hell hath no fury like me when I’m slightly inconvenienced and hungry
• I hate when Doctors asks questions like . . . “Are you sexually active?” Depends on what you mean by “active”. There are plenty of “active” volcanoes that haven’t gone off in over 50 years
• Cinderella is my favorite story about women who fight over a man who doesn't even remember what a woman he spent the night with looks like.
• If I treated others how I wanted to be treated, I'd be doing a ton of spontaneous sexual favors for random strangers.
• To whoever finds the $20 I dropped on campus: spend it on alcohol. It's what I would have wanted.
• Most people call me "bad at pickup lines" But you? You can call me tonight.
• When he dies, they're gonna "Weekend At Bernie's" that Dos Equis guy so effing hard.

(Found on Status Stalker, Funny Status)