Great Moments in Facebook History: February 10th, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, February 10th, 2014:

• You know the fun part of your life is over when people around you are getting pregnant on purpose.
• Some NewSochiOlympics Games: Nuclear Fallout Luge, Oh God There's So Many Wolves, Hunting Men For Sport, & Vodka Pong.
• I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can't have any more food and I'm never ready for that kind of commitment.
• I'd rather listen to Dick Vitale and Fran Drescher have sex than listen to another Macklemore song.
• My wife keeps leaving magazines lying around with the jewelry ads circled. I got the hint. For Valentine's Day she’s getting a magazine rack
• The Plumbing Business is NOT as Glamorous as the Porn Industry Depicts
• (local law enforcement Facebook page) "We here at GMP Tameside North understand the potential for fall-outs between drug dealers and drug users.  Have you fallen out with your drug dealer?  Have you been unimpressed with their service?  Why not tell us who they are?"
• "To the family in the red SUV at Tim Horton's today... Yes I am a big 208 lbs guy with motorcycles and full of tattoos, I am a welder, I am loud, I drink beer, I swear and I look like I would eat your soul if you stare at me wrong.  What you don't know is that I have been happily married for 11 years, my kids call me daddy, I am a college graduate, my mother is proud of me and tells everyone how lucky she is to have such a wonderful son, my nieces and nephews are always happy to see their 'm'noncl Luc,' when my daughter broker her arm I cried more than she did.  I read books, I help people, I go out of my way to thank war veterans, and I even cried at Armageddon... So next time I smile and say hi to your little girl and you grab her and tell her 'No no dear we don't talk to dirty bikers' remember that even tho you hurt my feelings, this 'dirty biker' would be the first person to run into your burning house to save your little girl's goldfish so she wouldn't be sad!!!!"

(Found on Status Stalker, Funny Status, and Failbook)