Great Moments in Facebook History: January 17th, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History from today, Friday, January 17th, 2014:

Eventually we're just gonna have to accept "ducking" is a swear word.
When you can't find your phone because you left it some place stupid, like in your car, or in your non-dominant hand...
I like my relationships like I like my eggs: over easy.
Eight-and-a-half minutes of oral. God, just, blech, that can be enough - I re-read this and realised I didn't specify English Oral, and it sounds seedy...
Today, my mom was telling me a sad story in Spanish. Not understanding Spanish very well, I thought she was telling a funny story so I pretended to laugh very hard. She now thinks she dropped me on my head.
"Boyfriend shopping!" - "Shopping for a boyfriend?" - "Yup lol" - "Any luck?" - "Nah got a new knife though."
Would like to announce my ex wife is still a poisonous harpy with a personality as false as her boobs. Even the very grass she walks on withers and dies beneath her feet. Good morning & happy Tuesday :)"
That's not Chapstick in my front pocket...

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