Great Moments in Facebook History: January 17th, 2014
Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History from today, Friday, January 17th, 2014:
- Eventually we’re just gonna have to accept “ducking” is a swear word.
- When you can’t find your phone because you left it some place stupid, like in your car, or in your non-dominant hand…
- I like my relationships like I like my eggs: over easy.
- Eight-and-a-half minutes of oral. God, just, blech, that can be enough – I re-read this and realised I didn’t specify English Oral, and it sounds seedy…
- Today, my mom was telling me a sad story in Spanish. Not understanding Spanish very well, I thought she was telling a funny story so I pretended to laugh very hard. She now thinks she dropped me on my head.
- “Boyfriend shopping!” – “Shopping for a boyfriend?” – “Yup lol” – “Any luck?” – “Nah got a new knife though.”
- Would like to announce my ex wife is still a poisonous harpy with a personality as false as her boobs. Even the very grass she walks on withers and dies beneath her feet. Good morning & happy Tuesday ”
- That’s not Chapstick in my front pocket…