Great Moments in Facebook History: November 14, 2014

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, November 14th, 2014:

• I bought a rug from IKEA that ended up being just a needle and 50 lbs. of thread.
• They should really be Middle-Age Mutant Business Turtles by now.
• I'm ok with how you work it. Moderate diggity, reasonable doubt.
• TURN DOWN FOR WHAT:Tyler's super rad 14th bday TURN DOWN FOR WHEN: June8th4-7pmTURN DOWN FOR WHERE: T's patio bar & grill akaTylersbackyard
• Sir, you lied on your taxes when you said you made $80085 last year. Were you spelling out boobs? That's badass. You're excused from the law
• A man went to the moon and only took five pictures, maybe you oughta cut down those 47 selfies for your trip to the bathroom, sweetheart.
• You know that tingly feeling you get when you have a crush on someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
• If an officer asks "do you know why I pulled you over?" "Because it's the only way to get girls to talk to you" is a bad answer, apparently
• I just saved a ton of money on Christmas presents by talking about politics on Facebook.

(Found on Status Stalker, Funny Status)