If Kalamazoo Was A Video Game, This Is What It Would Look Like

Kalamazoo is a fun and animated place to live, but what if it really was animated? If they made a video game based in Kalamazoo, what do you think it would be like? Well, the people of Kalamazoo responded heavily with jokes, seriousness, and a sense that apparently this city is in dire need of help. So we need a hero to start the game off:

The Hero

The hero is an undergrad at one of the major colleges and is trying to save up as much money as possible to pay off their student debts. In the game they'll have to avoid killer, but brand spanking new golf carts, wildlife, floods, trains and crazy drivers as they navigate downtown Kalamazoo. The hero does side-gigs to earn cash and accomplish missions to eventually being thousands of dollars in debt to work an entry level position making $14 an hour.

Get our free mobile app

Money

Currency can be earned with side jobs, but also collection craft beer bottles. Every 10 new bottles the hero discovers will unlock more and more money. Magic Potions to enhance the characters capabilities can be purchased at one of the many dispensaries.

The Levels

Level 1- Navigate the maze of roundabouts until you make it to Downtown Kalamazoo.
Level 2- Bar-hop to each brewery and find the golden hops.
Level 3- Find the highest amount you can get for your golden hops at a pawn shop.
Level 4- Drive the treacherous path of potholes without blowing a tie rod.
Level 5- Find the sober student amongst the chaos of welcome week to obtain the path to a debt free future.
Level 6- Try to find affordable housing or an encampment that won't get removed to stay in (The SUPER hard part of the game).
Level 7- Search for the ancient plaid shirt, bearded bro to guide you to the main boss.
Final Level- Travel the hidden Kalamazoo catacombs fighting of golf carts, floods, and deer searching for the anonymous $400,000,000 gift, so you can get a mere $70,000 to pay off debts.

There ya go, now pay me.