Great Moments in Facebook History: April 1, 2015

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Wednesday, April 1st, 2015:

Today is the worst day to die.
I’d rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everybody’s cup of tea
My life is about as organized as the $5 bin at Walmart
Next time you’re feeling down about something, just think about the kid who got benched so Air Bud could play
Shakespeare would seriously laugh so hard if he found out how seriously people take his works. Like, he would probably cry from laughing so hard if you told him that his plays were considered high-brow literature. “It’s all d*ck jokes and sword fights,” he’d say, “Do they seriously tell my d*ck jokes to schoolchildren? And the kids aren’t allowed to laugh? Do the teachers know they’re telling d*ck jokes? On my god that’s f*cking hilarious. Wait until I tell Anne.”
This baby is terrible at dodgeball.