Great Moments in Facebook History: August 26, 2016

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, August 26th, 2016:

Wow, I can't believe it's been a whole year since my herb garden was stolen. Where did the thyme go?
I'm just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
I wish the girls who rejected me in high school could see how many Pokémon I've caught.
I got a chainsaw in the mail today. Now I have to send saws to five other people.
@Sassafrantz: Pretended to add my number into this obnoxious guy’s phone. All I did was edit his mom’s contact. Hope she likes d*ck pics and booty calls.