Great Moments in Facebook History: January 6, 2017

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Friday, January 6th, 2017:

(Tina - @tinastics) I want pizza but I don’t wanna pay for pizza. I need a pizza daddy. A papa john if you will.
When I suggest we eat pizza and someone says something stupid like "No, I had pizza yesterday," I just nod like I understand, but inside my head I have murdered the person a thousand times.
Look UPS chick, you can't just show up at someone's house unannounced and expect them to always have their pants on.
(@charliedemers) My wife is so much better looking than me that a cashier just put a plastic divider down in the middle of our groceries.
Are walruses just vampire manatees?