Guy Looking For Private Tables on KZoo Reddit is DEFINITELY Not a Spy
Scrolling through the KZoo Subreddit the other day, I came across a curious question from someone, looking for a private table or dining room in Kalamazoo. Doesn't seem strange, unless you've seen a lot of spy movies - THEN it's kind of curious.
But if you're a spy, would you really ask Reddit where you could conduct, private, secret business with someone?
Yes... yes, you would.
Here's the original post from u/sachitatious...
Seems innocent enough. Maybe they have some business to discuss with a friend, out of earshot of other people. They could be a VERY private person, and just want to keep all of that pretty close to the chest.
But if you're THAT private, why ask Reddit where you could go to conduct such business?
The replies, of course, went STRAIGHT for the spy route. "Laziest spies ever." "Such Mystery, Much Intrigue." And then, there are a few people actually suggesting places to go, or some other alternatives.
I had to get in on the fun, too.
But then, there was this interaction with another Redditor that caught my attention!
u/Holliday_Mulberry7162 said they love secrets too, and wanted to know if there was room for a third person in this "secret meeting."
The original Poster replied...
I'm sorry... WHAT?
What could this person be discussing with "a friend" in a private booth, or dining room, that would be revealed to the world in a few months?
Then you go back and pick apart the original post... "some somewhat sensitive information that cannot be publicly disclosed!"
I thought the guy was just being really private and personal. Turns out... he's DEFINITELY exchanging some government secrets or something with a "friend" right here in Kalamazoo!
Good news for us, though, we MIGHT be able to get some answers. DOZENS of people gave him some options for private rooms, or tables to conduct his "business" in town. So now we have a checklist of locations where this might be happening.
We don't know when, though, so we'll have to take turns on stakeouts at each spot listed in the thread.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to pick a location and a time to stake out, and report back if you see a dude who looks like a spy at a private booth or in a private room.
(DISCLAIMER: CLEARLY this is satire, and meant to be humorous. I do not actually think this guy is a spy. It all seems like innocent, fun interactions on Reddit... but intriguing nonetheless.)