Before I landed at WRKR I was among the many Americans who unfortunately found themselves unemployed. I decided with all the down time I could begin a much-needed basement remodel in my home.  All was going well until the electrician I brought in decided to act like a deadbeat Dad and in the middle of a workday, left to get some smokes never to return.  I found it amazing that he would abandon a job nearly done. Attaching the outlets to the wiring in the walls was the only thing left to do.

Now because it was a smaller task, I figured a handyman off Craigslist would be the cheapest and quickest route to get the job done.  My search began in earnest but was quickly sidetracked when I began to notice some strange request for work.

For instance, did you know you can hire a lady near Sprinkle and King Highway to just platonically cuddle you for $50 an hour?  Please keep your shirt on though as she will only cuddle you comfortably with your clothes on.  I mean getting cuddled by a stranger is only creepy when you are nude right?

How about the guy near South Bend who will pay you $3,000 to become his bride. He even promises to put you in his will and that “times will be great”. One caveat though, you must be young and very pretty. Dang it, I always fall short when it comes to those two categories.

If you have an acting background you might be interested in the guy from Portage who will role play the movie Titanic with you. He’s not specific when defining which role you will play, so make sure you reach deep within and brush up on your improv skillset to win that job.

At the end of the day, my adventure on Craigslist ended up being a bust. So do me a solid would ya, if you “know a guy” send em my way please.  In the meantime, I’m going to grab a 50 spot and pay a visit to cuddle lady. I’m sure I’ll feel better in no time.

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