Michiganders Need To Accept These Stereotypes As Facts

Here we are coming together after a long quarantined nap.  Or are we?  This is the time that we find out just how confident we are in terms of re-entering society.  We've chronicled the statistics that show a number of people will not be joining the masses (or whatever number is allowed) or are apprehensive to do so.

One thing is for sure.  We want to get back to the way things were before.  This is not possible without a vaccine and may not get us all the way back even when there is.  So for the sake of argument, lets say that everything is hunky dory and we can become Michiganders again.

First things first.  We all have to take an oath to accept the obvious stereotypes as facts and get on with our lives such as they are.  Here's a few to try on for size.

1. We have Accents- Sure the Yoopers have accents but do we?  I don't think so.  I think we talk like the only normal people in the country until someone points out the accent and throws it right back in our face.  Come to think of it, is there another state that has 2 distinctively different accents?

2. We Are Always Using Our Hands As Maps- This isn't something I think we should be ashamed of.  I see it as an advantage.  What's really embarrassing is what body part someone from Florida uses to show where they live.

3. We Aren't Particularly Fond Of Ohio- This goes way beyond the obvious sports rivalry and I for one am glad.  I had to live in Ohio for 5 years in the late 80s and my IQ still hasn't come all the way back up.  Shut up!

4. We Call It "Pop"- It's Pop!!!  What is soda?  Something nearly flavorless you put in a mixed drink or baking soda whatever that is!

5. We Are The Undisputed Champions Of Cold Weather- sure there may be colder states in the winter but this is MICHIGAN.  Whenever someone from any other state, especially a southern one, complains that "it got cold last night" we always bristle and exclaim "I'm from Michigan.  You don't have any idea whatsoever what cold is!!!"

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