Outdoor Dining Prohibited? In Winter? You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me!

As the second wave of pandemic begins creeping in like the crawling green killer-of-the-first-born mist in The Ten Commandments, we were shocked (shocked, I say!) to hear that outdoor dining is included in the latest list of COVID restrictions. That's right. Outdoor dining will be prohibited.

In winter.

In Michigan.

And I was so looking forward to freezing my ass off while eating a street taco.

Anyone who is sincerely upset about this needs to think back to the last time they sat outside on a patio this late in the year. By now food trucks are parked and patio seating has been stored. Nothing has changed about outdoor dining from last year to this year.

I know who is super upset about this news, though. "Shorts All Year Guy" and "Never Wears a Coat Man". Although usually the same person, these two types of midwestern dude are too proud to admit that 25 degrees is, in fact, cold. They are often seen scoffing at anyone wearing weather appropriate gear, unless its a cute chick in a down filled vest and Uggs, mainly because they look like Han Solo, and Han is a badass. Even with their breath clearly hanging in the air after every word, they still refuse to admit that they're even the slightest bit uncomfortable.

Never fear, though, my fellow Southwest Michiganders, according to an article from MLive, "Igloos, huts and other small, enclosed spaces are allowed with restrictions," which is good. I've been working on perfecting my igloo building skills since March in hopes they might come in handy in late 2020, early 2021.

Plus, you can always bar hop with a drink in your hand...