Great Moments in Facebook History: December 5th, 2016

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, December 5th, 2016:

wife: Why is your back all scratched up? [flashback to me chasing a raccoon after she told me to leave it alone] me: I'm having an affair
Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting.
I was pulled over going the wrong way down a one-way street. I told the officer I had no sense of direction without a sitting Pope. He let me go.
Irish History Timeline: potatoes whiskey poetry potatoes whiskey music fistfights whisky NO POTATOES! potatoes whiskey JFK whiskey potatoes U2
thegayswhocouldfly:so me and my siblings (theres 3 of us) were eating dinner with my dad and we were talking about dad jokes and all of a sudden my dad goes “ive only made 3 jokes in my life and theyre all sitting in front of me”
that’s it
the dad joke to end all dad jokes