Sunday is Mother's Day, and I'm sure everyone's got big plans for their moms, their grandmothers, and their wives. Usually, you'll see a ton of lists going around of "what to get mom..." or "where to take mom..."

I'm actually going to do the opposite, because I am the KING of bad choices for when it comes to Mother's Day. Once, I made my mom a macaroni card... I was 27 at the time.

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SO, let's talk about things you should NOT get, or do with your mom on Mother's Day.

Brew Tour (this one's 50/50)

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This can actually be good, OR bad, depending on your mom. If they like a good beer, then maybe a trip around the local breweries is a great idea... just... keep it in moderation. Let mom get as drunk as she wants, but YOU gotta rein it in. Today, you are mom's DD.

Throw a big Party

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Mom gets to party on her birthday, at the holidays, and literally on any other special occasion. The last thing she wants is a bunch of people cramming into the house on HER day, in HER space, who inevitably won't be able to read the room, and realize when she just wants to collapse on the couch with a glass of wine. Hell, maybe that's ALL she wants to do on Mother's Day... let her.

Go to the Movies

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She can see movies any time she wants. Going to see Dr. Strange this weekend isn't anything special. If she's like my mom, she's already seen it twice anyway. Take some time to go somewhere you can talk and hang out with mom. THOSE are the things she'll remember, and things you'll remember in the future. Staring at a screen, quietly... nah, hard pass.

Get her ANY household appliance

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Nothing says "I love you Mom," like things she already uses, just... new. Seriously, don't do this. If she asks for a new toaster, or air fryer, or oven, then fine. Get that for her literally any other time of the year. Give it to her the day before, or after Mother's Day. You gotta celebrate mom by NOT reminding her that she cooked for you for decades, slaved away in the kitchen, and all you wanted was chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese. Even outside of the kitchen, things like vacuums, brooms... absolutely not. The only household item you're allowed to get mom on Mother's Day is a new couch or chair for her to call her own. A place where she can melt into the cushions with her glass of wine and a good book, and forget about all the times you colored on the walls as a kid, and she had to wipe it off. (Sorry mom.)

Brunch

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No... just... no. It's Cliche, everyone else, and their mom (literally) will want to do this. Places will be crowded with every forgetful dad in the city, you'll have to wake up early just to get there, everywhere is gonna be crowded... just... no. If you wanna do Mimosas and Bloody Mary's with mom, make'em at home.

Number one thing NOT to do for your mom on Mother's Day...

Move 5 states away!

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It wasn't intentional, but this year, for Mother's Day, I moved from my home town in Kansas... literally 20 minutes away from mom... to five states and 14 hour drive away. I'll be honest, I regret I didn't spend more time with mom while I was that close, but it was great while I was there. Now, she'll have to come visit me in Michigan, or I'll have to drive back to Kansas. Not the best Mother's Day thing I've ever done, but it's still not the worst.

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