Great Moments in Facebook History: August 3, 2015

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I scour the interwebs to find the best (and worst) thoughts floating around social media. Without further ado…

Here are the BEST Great Moments in Facebook History for today, Monday, August 3, 2015:

I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I'm still in a party mode from Saturday night
If the Mayans have taught us anything it is that if you don’t finish something it’s not the end of the world.
Scorpions are nature’s way of saying “Screw you, I’m going to combine lobsters, spiders, wasps, and nightmares.”
It's okay password, I'm insecure too.
My kitchen is actually nothing more than a fruit hospice.
They used to be called "jumpolines" until you jumped on one... Susan
On our first date I will carve our initials into a tree. It’s the most romantic way of letting you know I have a knife.